Tag Archives: wedding planning advice

Epic Journey: Not Being Perfect

Hola!

Sorry I’ve been MIA for the last week. I reblogged an item from a fellow blogger that I thought was helpful and relevant to my current situation and wedding planning. You try so hard to get everything together and make it look “perfect” for your looming Big Day, but in the end you just have to remind yourself that perfect is what you make of it. Sure the centerpieces won’t be aligned perfectly the way you want them to look, but who’s gonna really notice? If for some reason you get wind that a guest made a snarky comment about decorations should you really let it get to you? Today I explore all the stressful wedding stuff I’ve experienced while getting all my ducks in a row.

My dining table turned into a craft construction zone while we assembled the invites.

My dining table turned into a craft construction zone while we assembled the invites.

Compromise

My fiance and I had a small conversation last night about our concerns with the centerpieces being too “plain” or looking “empty” because we might not have enough flowers or decorations for the tables. I let him know that if it looks a little simple I’m okay with that. I’d rather be happy with what we have than worry endlessly about what others (or ourselves) are gonna obsess over as looking “perfect.” We are constantly reminding ourselves that we just don’t have the funds to invest it in the little things that are the status quo for other weddings or brides.

Case in point, our wedding favors are a perfect example of something we’ve had to readdress as we get closer to the wedding day. At first we wanted to get coffee mugs with a custom image and filled with coffee, tea, and hot chocolate for our guests. Now we realize the custom coffee mugs are not going to be cost effective for us to accomplish. However, our new backup plan is to get paper coffee cups decorated with sleeves, ribbon, and a custom sticker instead. Compromise is everything. You can accomplish your vision with a few adjustments and still feel happy with the outcome of your wedding style.

DIY (Within Reason) and ASK for Help!

Realizing that stamping all the items for the invites is gonna take a LOT of work!

Realizing that stamping all the items for the invites is gonna take a LOT of work!

Offbeat Bride Tribe had a great post about how easily DIY projects can consume a lot of your time, and money, without realizing what you signed yourself up for. From the start I had planned on doing a lot of DIY wedding stuff because I wanted to have a hand in creating and designing items over a long period of time (over a year and a half) for our wedding because I take a lot of joy in crafting and creating stuff for my wedding. I also never could have done it by myself, and have been grateful that we have a village of friends who have been kind enough to offer their help, have shown up to help, and continue to be supportive of all the DIY stuff we have created and continue to do for our wedding. Many of them also understand that despite having a relatively large wedding, we are unable to invite everyone due to financial limitations and venue space. All of our friends have been kind enough to give us words of encouragement, advice, tips and tricks on how we can accomplish our dream wedding, and I continue to pick their brains for more help. I always make a point of constantly thanking them in any way I can to show my appreciation for their help and friendship.

I took last week off from blogging because I turned my dinning table into a crafting construction zone as I began the process of putting together our wedding invitations. With 2 of my bridesmaids on Spring Break in New York, another in school full-time while working, and another bridesmaid just becoming engaged I took upon myself to call in all my favors. I asked friends who offered to help in the past if they were available to come by (when they had time, I did not dictate when they had to help) and help me construct the wedding invitations. It was amazing and inspiring to see all of the friends who came out to help last week, and within 5 days we had finished putting together every little detail. There are still a few things I need to finish on my end, but those are things I can take my time doing over the course of this week (like numbering the RSVP’s and finalizing the mailing labels) with the help of my fiance.

Don’t Be Afraid to Break the Mold

What if somebody notices the invites are mounted off centered?! What if they notice the stamp is upside down?! Can they tell I had to trim the edges of the cards?! *GASP* “Who gives a shit!?” was my response, after I spent 5 days constructing everything. πŸ™‚ I can’t emphasize this enough, not everything will be perfect. That’s okay. Hell, not everyone is going to have the same aesthetic or taste as you do, and that’s okay. Our wedding style is not there to please our guests or other brides and make them feel validated. Our wedding is just that, our wedding with our style and showcases who we are as a couple. Granted, our families do not have the same taste as we do, but that’s why they get to plan their own weddings and parties how they like. πŸ™‚

My bridesmaids are going to wear red and black dresses because I think they would look amazing in red! I’m going to wear red shoes and dye my hair red because I love the color red! Yes, wedding style magazines say don’t use too much red because it should be an accent color. Well, they can shut up and suck it because I plan on using a lot of red! Can you tell I’ve gone a little crazy? πŸ™‚

It’s been a long couple of weeks and I’m doing pretty well holding it together (for the most part) with the help of all my friends. We never could have accomplished everything without all of their help!! I can’t say it enough:

THANK YOU to all my friends, colleagues, and family who have helped us make this wedding become a reality and not just a fantasy!!

Getting all my crafting supplies in order so my helpers don't need to bring anything but their beautiful selves!

Getting all my crafting supplies in order so my helpers don’t need to bring anything but their beautiful selves!

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Geeky Wedding Tutorial

I’ve learned a lot of things within the last nine months about the ups and downs of planning a wedding, and trying to make it unique to you. Nowadays it’s a lot easier, and more common place to hear about newlyweds creating their own geeky wedding. Which is great! However, there are also a lot of unforeseen complications with friends and family reacting to your…personal style. These are just a few tips, and personal observations, from a geeky lady who never thought she would have to plan a wedding.

PREFACE

For the record, my fiance and I love both of our families. Second, we are poor as sh*%, and don’t really have funds to help pay for a wedding. Third, our families have been amazingly supportive and offered to help create the wedding our dreams. They just didn’t know it would involve no real flowers, DIY decorations, dyed hair, tattoos, and non-uniformed wedding decorations. No pastels?! Gasp! When the parents heard our wedding colors were red and black they looked like someone stole their favorite toy. His mother is still trying to convince me that real flowers for the bride are just appropriate. Did I mention we’re making paper roses out of several different types of paper products? Including my bouquet? Amazing, right? Not to the Mom’s. In the beginning my fiance and I came up with a few creative ideas for our wedding like a Steam Punk theme or a cute video game themed wedding cake. Who doesn’t want a Super Mario wedding cake?! Not to the Mom’s. Which brings me to my number one rule…

RULE #1: Tell No One!

After reading a few helpful wedding books like Offbeat Bride and Handmade Weddings I felt focused. I also found a kindred soul in the Manly Wedding Blog. He spoke to the lazy Tom Boy inside of me when he ranted about not trying to lose weight before your wedding. HI-larious! Our geeky and personal style started coming together. I dove into Pintrest and started collecting ideas and running them by my fiance. We eventually agreed on a book theme with library inspired invitations and homemade table centerpieces with our awesome paper roses, all designed by my fiance, our wedding party and some close friends. It felt great to finally be excited about this big event in my life after being shut down left and right by the Mom’s.

I later learned my biggest mistake was sharing any of this joyous information with the Mom’s. Offbeat Bride really did help me feel less alone in my geeky stress and remember that every wedding and every family are different, but there are a lot of things that geeky weddings do that Emily Post, and the Mom’s, would not approve of. So keep it to yourselves and only share the best details with the people who will be actively helping you get all this amazing stuff done. You don’t need someone trying to convince you what you want is wrong or not worth the effort. I threatened my Mom with the idea of me having a paper wedding dress (freaking awesome, right?!) and she stopped asking questions for a week. πŸ™‚ Just trust yourself and know that everyone will love the surprise wedding cake.

RULE #2: Stay Focused

I’ve kinda failed on this note. I’ve been super stressed and often procrastinate for days or a few weeks at a time, and now it’s crunch time. We got engaged at the end of January of this year and we have a few important decisions such as the Photographer and DJ that we still need to nail down. One helpful thing I did in the beginning was sign up for daily or weekly emails from Real Simple and The Knot for reminders and suggestions. I’m a big fan of the magazine Real Simple and I’ve found a few really great tips from their emails, as well as monthly and deadline sensitive emails from The Knot. If you only spend five minutes a day reviewing these emails it will be worth it. You can pin the ideas you like on Pintrest, or flag them as favorites through your FREE accounts on their websites. They were both helpful in getting me to start focusing on the styles that were more to my liking. I also realize that maybe one out of several emails will have nothing but stuff on flowers, miscellaneous stuff you don’t need, and crap in pastels.I hate pastels. Warning: The Knot will spam you and give your email out to other vendors they work with. So expect unwanted emails about sales all the time. It’s a small price to pay for practical advice, and it’s still FREE!

One of the best things to help you stay focused, and I cringe to even suggest it, delegate stuff to people who want to help you. Utilize your wedding party!! One of my bridesmaids is a fucking ninja at making our paper roses. Edith, you are amazing. She deserves credit for all the hard work and late nights we’ve spent in the last few months watching Downton Abbey and burning fingers with the hot glue gun. Edith is so amazing she even made a few roses out of a Play Station manual and old cartoon magazines! I’m telling you, she’s fucking rad. I’m usually smoking and complaining while she uses those delicate fingers to glue fifty paper petals to a wire. I’m also lucky to have friends who are always asking to come over and help make paper roses with us because they think its an awesome idea and they miss when I use to host Craft Nights at my house. I can’t thank all of them enough. Which brings me to the next rule.

RULE#3: Trust Your Gut

I recently went shopping for my wedding dress, and I’m not gonna lie, I was dreading it. It was a busy Sunday afternoon and I was not expecting to find anything I liked, let alone loved. I’m glad I was proven wrong by the staff at David’s Bridal. Side Tip: Make an appointment any time you want to try on any of their dresses. Their staff was amazingly helpful and informative and I can’t thank them enough and my bridesmaids for putting up with my jerkiness and skeptical attitude. I totally almost cried when I realized I had found my wedding dress, on the first try. But, I held it back because I was doubting myself. My bridesmaids knew it, I knew it, and then the whole store knew it (they make you ring a bell) that was the dress for me. Luckily for the Mom’s I didn’t find a paper dress in stock.

RULE #4: Be Thankful ALL THE TIME!

The words “Thanks” doesn’t seem sufficient. All of my friends and family have been really excited and encouraging about our upcoming nuptials, even if they aren’t sold on our ideas. I wrote Thank You cards to all my friends who came over to workshop the paper roses. I made sure to buy a few small gifts for my bridesmaids when they accompanied me to try on wedding dresses. Keeping with the book theme I got them all bookmakers so they can flag stuff they want or love for themselves. These small gestures might help Emily Post forgive me for not allowing my single friends to bring dates to our wedding…hopefully…

WRAP IT UP!

I could go on and on with tips and tricks, but I feel the simpler the better. If you need or want extensive help I highly recommend visiting my favorite wedding site Offbeat Bride, or browse Pintrest when you have nothing better to do. No matter how big or small your budget you’ll find what works best for you. These are the most important things that I’ve learned, and have helped me stay sane while trying to avoid procrastination. Wedding planning takes a lot of time and patience. Especially if you want to make it as geeky and beautiful as you had imagined. I don’t want to give style or budgeting advice because I also realize not everyone is as cheap and lazy as I am. Before I was engaged getting married only meant signing a piece a paper and tax breaks. I never imagined a big wedding, let alone one with a theme. Now I’m planning the geeky wedding of my dreams. I hope your future wedding has everything you had hoped for. Even if its your dog in a dolphin costume or a black wedding dress, remember it’s your big day and you get to make it your own brand of geek chic.

We still have a long road ahead of us before our big day. Pray for us, and our Mom’s. πŸ™‚

P.S. If you know a photographer you’d like to recommend please email me at scarlettburn[at]gmail[dot]com, and thanks again!

This post was presented to you by Defective Geeks!

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