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Geeky Wedding Tutorial

I’ve learned a lot of things within the last nine months about the ups and downs of planning a wedding, and trying to make it unique to you. Nowadays it’s a lot easier, and more common place to hear about newlyweds creating their own geeky wedding. Which is great! However, there are also a lot of unforeseen complications with friends and family reacting to your…personal style. These are just a few tips, and personal observations, from a geeky lady who never thought she would have to plan a wedding.

PREFACE

For the record, my fiance and I love both of our families. Second, we are poor as sh*%, and don’t really have funds to help pay for a wedding. Third, our families have been amazingly supportive and offered to help create the wedding our dreams. They just didn’t know it would involve no real flowers, DIY decorations, dyed hair, tattoos, and non-uniformed wedding decorations. No pastels?! Gasp! When the parents heard our wedding colors were red and black they looked like someone stole their favorite toy. His mother is still trying to convince me that real flowers for the bride are just appropriate. Did I mention we’re making paper roses out of several different types of paper products? Including my bouquet? Amazing, right? Not to the Mom’s. In the beginning my fiance and I came up with a few creative ideas for our wedding like a Steam Punk theme or a cute video game themed wedding cake. Who doesn’t want a Super Mario wedding cake?! Not to the Mom’s. Which brings me to my number one rule…

RULE #1: Tell No One!

After reading a few helpful wedding books like Offbeat Bride and Handmade Weddings I felt focused. I also found a kindred soul in the Manly Wedding Blog. He spoke to the lazy Tom Boy inside of me when he ranted about not trying to lose weight before your wedding. HI-larious! Our geeky and personal style started coming together. I dove into Pintrest and started collecting ideas and running them by my fiance. We eventually agreed on a book theme with library inspired invitations and homemade table centerpieces with our awesome paper roses, all designed by my fiance, our wedding party and some close friends. It felt great to finally be excited about this big event in my life after being shut down left and right by the Mom’s.

I later learned my biggest mistake was sharing any of this joyous information with the Mom’s. Offbeat Bride really did help me feel less alone in my geeky stress and remember that every wedding and every family are different, but there are a lot of things that geeky weddings do that Emily Post, and the Mom’s, would not approve of. So keep it to yourselves and only share the best details with the people who will be actively helping you get all this amazing stuff done. You don’t need someone trying to convince you what you want is wrong or not worth the effort. I threatened my Mom with the idea of me having a paper wedding dress (freaking awesome, right?!) and she stopped asking questions for a week. 🙂 Just trust yourself and know that everyone will love the surprise wedding cake.

RULE #2: Stay Focused

I’ve kinda failed on this note. I’ve been super stressed and often procrastinate for days or a few weeks at a time, and now it’s crunch time. We got engaged at the end of January of this year and we have a few important decisions such as the Photographer and DJ that we still need to nail down. One helpful thing I did in the beginning was sign up for daily or weekly emails from Real Simple and The Knot for reminders and suggestions. I’m a big fan of the magazine Real Simple and I’ve found a few really great tips from their emails, as well as monthly and deadline sensitive emails from The Knot. If you only spend five minutes a day reviewing these emails it will be worth it. You can pin the ideas you like on Pintrest, or flag them as favorites through your FREE accounts on their websites. They were both helpful in getting me to start focusing on the styles that were more to my liking. I also realize that maybe one out of several emails will have nothing but stuff on flowers, miscellaneous stuff you don’t need, and crap in pastels.I hate pastels. Warning: The Knot will spam you and give your email out to other vendors they work with. So expect unwanted emails about sales all the time. It’s a small price to pay for practical advice, and it’s still FREE!

One of the best things to help you stay focused, and I cringe to even suggest it, delegate stuff to people who want to help you. Utilize your wedding party!! One of my bridesmaids is a fucking ninja at making our paper roses. Edith, you are amazing. She deserves credit for all the hard work and late nights we’ve spent in the last few months watching Downton Abbey and burning fingers with the hot glue gun. Edith is so amazing she even made a few roses out of a Play Station manual and old cartoon magazines! I’m telling you, she’s fucking rad. I’m usually smoking and complaining while she uses those delicate fingers to glue fifty paper petals to a wire. I’m also lucky to have friends who are always asking to come over and help make paper roses with us because they think its an awesome idea and they miss when I use to host Craft Nights at my house. I can’t thank all of them enough. Which brings me to the next rule.

RULE#3: Trust Your Gut

I recently went shopping for my wedding dress, and I’m not gonna lie, I was dreading it. It was a busy Sunday afternoon and I was not expecting to find anything I liked, let alone loved. I’m glad I was proven wrong by the staff at David’s Bridal. Side Tip: Make an appointment any time you want to try on any of their dresses. Their staff was amazingly helpful and informative and I can’t thank them enough and my bridesmaids for putting up with my jerkiness and skeptical attitude. I totally almost cried when I realized I had found my wedding dress, on the first try. But, I held it back because I was doubting myself. My bridesmaids knew it, I knew it, and then the whole store knew it (they make you ring a bell) that was the dress for me. Luckily for the Mom’s I didn’t find a paper dress in stock.

RULE #4: Be Thankful ALL THE TIME!

The words “Thanks” doesn’t seem sufficient. All of my friends and family have been really excited and encouraging about our upcoming nuptials, even if they aren’t sold on our ideas. I wrote Thank You cards to all my friends who came over to workshop the paper roses. I made sure to buy a few small gifts for my bridesmaids when they accompanied me to try on wedding dresses. Keeping with the book theme I got them all bookmakers so they can flag stuff they want or love for themselves. These small gestures might help Emily Post forgive me for not allowing my single friends to bring dates to our wedding…hopefully…

WRAP IT UP!

I could go on and on with tips and tricks, but I feel the simpler the better. If you need or want extensive help I highly recommend visiting my favorite wedding site Offbeat Bride, or browse Pintrest when you have nothing better to do. No matter how big or small your budget you’ll find what works best for you. These are the most important things that I’ve learned, and have helped me stay sane while trying to avoid procrastination. Wedding planning takes a lot of time and patience. Especially if you want to make it as geeky and beautiful as you had imagined. I don’t want to give style or budgeting advice because I also realize not everyone is as cheap and lazy as I am. Before I was engaged getting married only meant signing a piece a paper and tax breaks. I never imagined a big wedding, let alone one with a theme. Now I’m planning the geeky wedding of my dreams. I hope your future wedding has everything you had hoped for. Even if its your dog in a dolphin costume or a black wedding dress, remember it’s your big day and you get to make it your own brand of geek chic.

We still have a long road ahead of us before our big day. Pray for us, and our Mom’s. 🙂

P.S. If you know a photographer you’d like to recommend please email me at scarlettburn[at]gmail[dot]com, and thanks again!

This post was presented to you by Defective Geeks!

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My Geek History

I recently started listening to the Defective Geeks Podcast that a friend (or mutual friend, FB friend, just a great person in general) Dianne, aka Space Pirate Queen, started doing with other geeky friends. I’d fallen behind a bit and did a marathon of five episodes in one night and ended up feeling really nostalgic for my old college/geeky days with friends. I finished listening to all 15 episodes (as of today) in under a week!

The first couple of episodes they talked about how and when they became geeks, their “origin” stories, and how they all became friends due to their mutual geek interests (semi-stalking Dominic Monaghan from LOTR). Even though I was never into FanFiction, just listening to Giselle read some FanFiction on their podcast made me miss the old days, for me at least, of sitting around and talking geek with my geeky friends. Now, as some of you from my old college days remember, we did a lot of sitting around and doing nothing but talking and/or watching Anime and Manga. It consumed my college life! I use to stay up until 2-4am watching an anime called Rurouni Kenshin (on VHS with subtitles!) while working on school projects at night during the weekdays, and on weekends eat and watch anime at my friend’s apartment.

The more I listened the more I felt enamored with Giselle aka Gizzy, and then giggled often due to the nickname sounding dirty. Sorry! It’s still kinda funny, and I got over that part quickly because I was laughing my ass off bonding with Gizzy and her appreciation for The Hulk directed by Ang Lee! I felt like I was the only one alive who bothered to watch that movie from beginning to end. Years have gone by and I know no one else who likes that comic book movie! Granted, I will go see any comic book turned movie, in theatres. I have sat through every comic book movie released after I turned 12 years old (don’t make me do the math, or write the year, I feel sufficiently old already)! I even dragged two friends to watch Elektra with Jennifer Garner in the theater! They were mad at me for a while after watching that movie. I don’t always have the best taste in movies, I’ll admit to that. However, I felt a deep sigh of relief and moment of bonding to hear another person have kind words for poor old Ang Lee.

I am now an official fan/stalker. 😀

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Origin of a Geeky Couple

Watching Anime is also how I got to meet my boyfriend. We were initially introduced to each other by my last boyfriend at a Starbucks, where they both worked at the time. Since coffee in one of my best friends I hung out at that particular Starbucks often, due to the large amounts of free coffee I could get my hands on, and try to do my homework (or socialize with the regulars who also had no life). We were introduced to each other because my ex-boyfriend knew we both loved anime and manga. I also use to go to Anime Expo every year and was part of an online community named Otaku Booty for a short period of time in college. Super geeky. My ex-boyfriend did none of that, and he thought it would be nice for me to make another geeky friend. So my new geek friend (current boyfriend) and I would do nothing but sit quietly in the corner watching episodes of Naruto and Bleach fansubs at Starbucks. After my last boyfriend and I broke up I stayed friends with a lot of people he introduced me to, including The Boyfriend, and love of my life.

My Boyfriend and I do a lot of geeky stuff together like a marathon of Battlestar Galactica or Firefly, go see midnight showings of the newest movies (Scott Pilgrim and Kick-Ass), go to Anime Expo and Comic-Con, and buy each other gifts in the form of the newest weekly comic books (on Wednesday of course!). Our interests are still a little different in some areas, for example, he likes to play online RPG’s and I knit and do arts and crafts. We’ve made a beautiful geek life together and have accumulated way too many action figures and comic books. We have so much stuff, in our spacious home I am remodeling an extra storage room in to a library/craft/toy room to keep most of our cherished belongings.

Lets hope I finish that remodel this summer… 😀

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