Morning’s Are Not My Thing

My home is my sanctuary. If any one were to try and mess with it they’d get a whole lot of whoop ass from me and my wrath.

So naturally, when someone comes knocking on my door at 9am I am a bit confused and bewildered by a request to use our property for something. Here goes the story:

A few weeks ago while my boyfriend and I were sound asleep, our roommate knocks on our bedroom door and tells us there is someone who needs to talk to one of us. We ask who, and he politely replies, “It’s complicated. It’s probably best you just talk to them.”

My boyfriend crawls out of the bed, begrudgingly, while I lay in bed slightly annoyed. A few moments later he comes back and tells me the Realtor who is selling the empty house next door came by to tell us they will be using our driveway to do some construction work today, and would we like to “move our trash cans” or anything else we have on that side of the driveway because they will be using that space.

Um….excuse me? No, excuse you?

I fly out of bed and storm off to speak with this so-called Realtor who knocked on our door. I knock on the open door and hear a woman’s voice and two men. I introduce myself and ask what construction is happening that they need our driveway all day, AND don’t know when they’ll be done? She says their installing a central air system today and she doesn’t know how long it will take. “I came by to give you a neighborly notice because your trash cans and things are in the area they’ll need to use for construction.”

“I’m sorry,” I reply, “knocking on our door at 9am is not a neighborly notice. We ALL work today and I’m gonna need someone from our home to keep an eye on your construction guys to ensure our property isn’t damaged. Especially since you’ve given no prior notice.”

“Well, the side of the house we need is technically THIS houses property line so I didn’t need to ask for you permission, I thought I was being neighborly by just letting you know what they were going to be doing.”

“No. Knocking on our door at 9AM is not neighborly notice. We own this property and we need 24 hr notice before we allow any one to have access to our open drive way ALL DAY. I may have your guys sign a waiver saying you’ll cover the costs if ANYTHING on my property is damaged before I let any one in our driveway to do construction.”

“I’m sorry you feel that way, but we don’t need your permission it’s on our property line.”

“Well good luck getting access because no one is getting access to the driveway without MY permission. Do you realize we own the property next door? We don’t rent. So, a knock on the door at 9am is NOT a neighborly notice. 24hrs notice or no one gets in.” The I proceed to leave yelling “9am! 9am is not neighborly!”

I slam the front door behind me and proceed to tell my boyfriend and our roommate that NO ONE is going to use our driveway and they can go fuck themselves if they think they can just push us around because we look like renters. FUCK. YOU. LADY.

Our very polite roommate offers to watch the construction workers since he will be home all day and has the day off from work. Thank goodness! I thank him for offering, and let him know I’ll see what I can work out with this crazy lady who think she can push me around. Of course, in my mind I’m thinking, “Fuck this lady.”

I then spot two older gentlemen looking at our driveway so I open the front door and introduce myself and ask them if they’re they construction workers.

“Yes, we are,” says the nice older gentlemen. “My name is Jim.” He then hands me his business card.

“I applogize if you’re caught in the middle of my wrath, but we’ve been dealing with a lot of issues with this property since it’s been unoccupied for months, and we had no prior notice this construction was going to be happening today.”

“I completely understand your situation. We were just told this project needed to be done today as well, so we definitely understand and don’t want to be any trouble.”

“Well, it seems we might have a solution since my roommate will be home all day and be able to give you access to our driveway. His name is S**** (I’m hiding him name for his privacy). If you need access ask for him and he’ll make sure nothing on our end is damaged as well. My name is Stephanie by the way. I’m about to go get ready for work but ask for our roommate if you need anything while I’m gone.”

“Okay, great. Well I’ll let the Realtor know we’ve worked this out. Thanks for your help.”

After taking a a shower, screaming, and dressing myself for work our roommate then informs us Mr. Jim came back and told him they will no longer be needing our driveway for construction. The plans have been delayed (possibly because I through a wrench in them).


I scared the Realtor in to complacency!

Once again, I’ve manage to bulldoze in to getting my way (she was in the wrong any way!) and now I don’t have to worry about this crazy bitch who thinks she can show up and tell me what to do. Not. A. Chance.

Words to the wise: I am NOT a morning person. NEVER. EVER. Tell me bad news before 10 o’clock on the morning.

Just sayin’.


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