It has taken me many days, weeks, and months to make this decision. It was not a easy one. I am sad to inform you that you will not be able to attend my (future) wedding. I have decided it would be best to keep this event small. I hope that you do not take this personally, or as a reason for us to no longer be friends. It was not easy for me to lump people in to a “Good Friends VS Bad Friends” grouping, which, actually didn’t happen.
I hope to see you some time soon. And, if it makes you feel any better, gifts were not required for the people who were invited.
Well, that was theraputic. This type of diatribe had been weighing on me for some time. Recently we have had a number of friends getting married, knocked up, separated, and divorced. My own family is riddled with chaos over such things. My mother is on her third husband, her best choice so far, my father has been happily remarried for over 10 years, most of my relatives are divorced, or having issues of their own.
I, personally, take the vows of marriage very seriously. This does not mean I think “Marriage is between a man and a woman for the purpose of procreation.” Not at all. Having seen, and experienced, marriage and divorce come and go I don’t think the decision of marriage is easy. This week alone I have been informed of a secret marriage, a separation, and my boyfriend and I are attending a wedding in a couple of weeks. Marriage, not including the wedding, is a life changing decision.
Ever since I was young I never saw myself getting married and having kids. It never really crossed my mind like it did my friends and relatives. I figured if it happens it happens. If my life is in the right place, and I meet someone I can see myself growing old with, then it would be obvious it would happen.
And…I was right.
Sure, I had delusions of marryinig someone who wasn’t right for me, but I realized later it was just a flight of fancy and was never going to happen. Now, I worry about it too much. I’ve always felt weddings were a waste of time and money. Why start off the greatest start to a new life in debt? Is it really a great tradition? Do I need a church to recognize my own feelings and wishes? Plus, the thought of dozes of people watching this whole farce makes me want to run away from it all. Why pay for others to eat at your wedding? Why not just sign the paperwork and leave on the honeymoon right away!? Eloping seems to fit better with my idea of romantic and fun. I don’t even need Las Vegas. I’ve also had thoughts of a small wedding, thus the small hypothetical letter.
After being informed of someone’s secret, last minute wedding, and I started to wonder about who I would invite to my own ceremony. Who are my close friends? What family would make the cut?
I have a healthy grouping of friends, but most of them would not be invited. Hell, even some family wouldn’t be invited. Does that mean I, in turn, could not be invited to their wedding? Is this how it works? Who knows. All I do know is if and when it happens it shall be for my future husband and I only.
I’m still making a list, in my head, of who will be invited. That is….if I can gather the courage to stand in front of crowd at all!